Day 4: Family reunion

Family reunion

My mom’s father has always been a complicated person. He would get mad for no reason and wouldn’t talk to anyone for days or weeks. And now… years.

Five years ago, for no reason, he stopped talking to any of us.

He wasn’t ever that close to me… because I’m a girl! I’m not exaggerating, my mother suffered for years with his gender discrimination.

Now, have in mind that I was only twelve… I felt abandoned. For years, I couldn’t hear his name and, even now, it’s hard to talk about him. He lost one of the most important stages of my life.

He lost my transition from a child to an almost adult.

Now, he’s sick. He’s been in the hospital for a week and, next week, he will be coming to town to have surgery.

Yesterday’s talk, between me, my brothers and my parents, was what would we do if he wanted to come back and start a relationship. We hadn’t ever had that talk.

It’s good to see that we’re all on the same page though. Neither of us would accept him.

And I don’t want to see him.

To me, he’s absence is worse that is death. If he had died, he wouldn’t have a choice, he just wouldn’t be able to see us. It was his choice to leave… it was his choice to die.

xoxo,
Maria

Day 3: Inspiration

Inspiration

 

 

We all have things in life that inspire us to wake up in the morning, to study that one more hour or to follow our dreams. It can be just the bright blue in the sky, our own mom or someone famous.

Today,I’d like to talk about Taylor Swift. I know that, to many, she is just some young pop singer who knows nothing about life.

To me, though, Taylor’s a magician. She inspires me just with words, i just feel… understanding.

That’s my biggest dream, you know? I want to sell dreams; I want to someday inspire some little girl to follow her dreams, to inspire some sad teenager to feel like her life is worth it.

I want to show you one of  Taylor’s speeches. It’s about what it is to be fearless. I read it before any exam or big day, It makes me say: “You can do this!”

I hope it inspires you as much as in me 😀

“To me, “FEARLESS” is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, FEARLESS is having fears. FEARLESS is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, FEARLESS is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. FEARLESS is falling madly in love again, even though you’ve been hurt before. FEARLESS is walking into your freshmen year of high school at fifteen. FEARLESS is getting back up and fighting for what you want over and over again… even though every time you’ve tried before, you’ve lost. It’s FEARLESS to have faith that someday things will change. FEARLESS is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can’t breathe without them. I think it’s FEARLESS to fall for your best friend, even though he’s in love with someone else. And when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they’ll never stop doing, I think it’s FEARLESS to stop believing them. It’s FEARLESS to say “you’re NOT sorry”, and walk away. I think loving someone despite what people think is FEARLESS. I think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is FEARLESS. Letting go is FEARLESS. Then, moving on and being alright…That’sFEARLESS too. But no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. You have to believe in love stories and prince charmings and happily ever after. That’s why I write these songs. Because I think love is FEARLESS.”
― Taylor Swift

xoxo,
Maria

Day 2: Ice cream cones and roller skating

Cotton candy and roller skating

Have you ever thought “How long has it been since I…”

I’m sure you have, I have. Yesterday i understood I hadn’t had cotton candy since I was five. Since I went to a town party (one of those about some saint) and, between bumping cards and fireworks… I finally had my cotton candy! No need to say my friends ate half of it…

Earlier, I wasn’t going to leave the house but then… “How long has it been since I last went rollerskating?”. A long time, let me tell you! It was great, I felt a freedom I hadn’t feel in a long time, just rollerskating by the beach.

My conclusion? If you ever find yourself wondering how long has it been since you last did something… Just go and do it! You will feel complete, trust me!

Just behave, I don’t want you killing anybody in the way 😀

xoxo,
Maria

Day 1: Again!

Friends? Can’t live with them, can’t live without them!

 

So, earlier I was watching “Jane by design” (great show, by the way) and her friendship with her best friend kept coming to me… and I started thinking about my own friends.

I can’t help but to feel lucky.

I’ve been let down by friends, yes.

There’s this one girl who was one of my best friends, the first person i ever felt safe with, and that just turned her back at me for no reason, turning into my “enemy”. She never told me what happen and, until today, I just keep thinking it was all out of jealousy… grades, looks, other friendships…

Then, my other best friend went to another school and we just fell apart until we had a big fight and stopped talking for months. We are kind of okay, now… not the same thing, though. It’s never gonna be the same thing, is it?

Other friends, just turned into bitches (or i started noticing they were).

If I looked to things just thinking about this… I would feel like I couldn’t have friends. And I did, for a while..

Then, I woke up. See those boys and girls on the pictures? That’s all I need, right there.

I’m the short one in the picture (I’m always the shorter one xD).

The girl beside me is Maria, my best friend. The greatest thing about our friendship is that it isn’t one of those “cheesy” friendships. People make fun of us saying we are like boys because make fun of each other and fight for the silliest things and stuff. But you know what? That’s the thing! We don’t talk bad things behind each other’s back, we understand each other without talking, we can just sit watching TV and still be comfortable. We are great together, actually! I think that’s one of the reasons teachers still let us sit together (and because we are great students)

The boy in blue? Biggest surprise in my life. We actually hated each other. Then, because of school, we had to spend some hours a week together, and started talking. And we found out we had very much in common. Now, we’re best friends. He’s name is Gonçalo, best guy student in our class.

The other boy is one of my few real friends, Rafa. He’s nerdy but great. And, for my surprise, a great dancer!

I don’t have many friends (like… 6?), but the ones I have? Make my day everyday.

xoxo,
Maria

The beginning

Hey there 😀

I created this blog for it to be with me trough my journey. What journey, you ask? The journey of life.

I’m 17 and love to write and read and… well, i just tough it would be great to have something to look forward, like writing on my blog everyday through 100 days.

It’s just a great way to have goals…

This 100 days will mostly be my summer but, if it goes well… who knows? Maybe I can do some more!

I don’t think anyone’s gonna read this but, if you do, I hope you like knowing me 🙂

OK then, this was just some introduction…

Let the journey begin!!!

xoxo,

Maria