Day 4: Words like knives

Words like knives

Let me get you a heads up in the story:

Since I was little, I have been a very good student at school.

Then, I got to 10th grade. In Portugal, 10th grade is like the beginning of High School. Grades start to count to an average grade that defines your entering in college.

I’ve always wanted to be a doctor and, to get to med school, you need an average grade near 19 (out of 20) and… that’s a lot! Only the best get in.

1st term of 10th grade was really bad. I was in a bad place and my grades weren’t that great… my average was of 16.9.

Then… I started working harder! I started studying more, paying more attention in class… It wasn’t that hard, really, since I’ve always been very dedicated.

I ended 10th grade with great grades and an average of 18,9. This year was even better, I’ve never been this focused. I will know my exam grades (for Biology/Geology and Physics/Chemistry) but, by the end of the term, I had and average of 19.4.

Now, to the point:

Although was I told you before in this post is really great, I’ve always been a victim.

People are really mean, you know? Boys, girls… almost everyone. That’s why I have so much friends (and I feel so lucky)

They make fun of me for my grades and my weight (I’m not thin but I’m not what you’d call fat either), calling me a geek and an “elephant”. I take it well, ignoring it and stuff, but I’m like a cup… I get full and full with each comment.

Yesterday, in a conversation with my father, I opened up. I don’t remember how it got to that point but it did.

My parents were great! They supported me and made me see I am better than those who make fun of me and that I should make “deaf ears” (works better in Portuguese :p).

Some years from now we will see…

xoxo,
Maria

Day 1: Again!

Friends? Can’t live with them, can’t live without them!

 

So, earlier I was watching “Jane by design” (great show, by the way) and her friendship with her best friend kept coming to me… and I started thinking about my own friends.

I can’t help but to feel lucky.

I’ve been let down by friends, yes.

There’s this one girl who was one of my best friends, the first person i ever felt safe with, and that just turned her back at me for no reason, turning into my “enemy”. She never told me what happen and, until today, I just keep thinking it was all out of jealousy… grades, looks, other friendships…

Then, my other best friend went to another school and we just fell apart until we had a big fight and stopped talking for months. We are kind of okay, now… not the same thing, though. It’s never gonna be the same thing, is it?

Other friends, just turned into bitches (or i started noticing they were).

If I looked to things just thinking about this… I would feel like I couldn’t have friends. And I did, for a while..

Then, I woke up. See those boys and girls on the pictures? That’s all I need, right there.

I’m the short one in the picture (I’m always the shorter one xD).

The girl beside me is Maria, my best friend. The greatest thing about our friendship is that it isn’t one of those “cheesy” friendships. People make fun of us saying we are like boys because make fun of each other and fight for the silliest things and stuff. But you know what? That’s the thing! We don’t talk bad things behind each other’s back, we understand each other without talking, we can just sit watching TV and still be comfortable. We are great together, actually! I think that’s one of the reasons teachers still let us sit together (and because we are great students)

The boy in blue? Biggest surprise in my life. We actually hated each other. Then, because of school, we had to spend some hours a week together, and started talking. And we found out we had very much in common. Now, we’re best friends. He’s name is Gonçalo, best guy student in our class.

The other boy is one of my few real friends, Rafa. He’s nerdy but great. And, for my surprise, a great dancer!

I don’t have many friends (like… 6?), but the ones I have? Make my day everyday.

xoxo,
Maria